i was abouth

i was abouth to break my heart and still think abouth this....its like one of the bad dreams and i can't wake up...i feel disappointed.....feel like this is not what i want
i dont want to sleep and wake up alone don't want a boring life or to be bloked in home a home that im abouth to lose it'
i dont want to have sex with my boyfriend i want to make love with him
i don't feel apreciated i feel tolerated
this is not what i want.......but this guy is what i love....my heart will be broken in milioon pieces if i leave him evertime i just think of breakinup my eyes are full of tears an feel so much pain just thinking
i know that this is not sorted for a big future but as long as it takes i want it to be beautifoul....as i wish or....not to be at all.....